One thing I frequently experience is a frustration with words, terms and phrases when discussing sex with friends. I often feel lost. I can see she and I both feel it, but we just can't seem to put it to words.
Of course, it goes without saying that if I read a lot more than I am right now, I'd definitely have more words to my disposal. But what I've increasingly come to realise is that a lot of experiences are already predefined; their sentences, adjectives, words claimed by androcentric passengers in the travel of language.
Say, for instance, having sex with someone. Why is it not sex when I have had the time of my life, but it hasn't been penetrative? Does it really matter? Must he nail me? How on earth will my girlfriends and I make do with that pale milk phrase, 'making out'?
I have always intensely disliked that phrase. It captures nothing; it could mean children play-acting, a young girl striking out on her own in a new city, pressing out spaghetti strings from the machine. Why could 'making out' not be any of these instead?
And then, bases. How powerfully they staircase a dip into the ocean. Why must his shirt be unbuttoned, her bra unhooked? What of all those beautiful places in between; the smouldering, the pauses, the suddenness, the crackling cigarette or was it the friction of your corduroys?
I wish I knew hindi better, I'm certain that we have much more fulfilling ways to talk about our experiences, sensations, feelings without having to rely on cheap American imports.
Of course, it goes without saying that if I read a lot more than I am right now, I'd definitely have more words to my disposal. But what I've increasingly come to realise is that a lot of experiences are already predefined; their sentences, adjectives, words claimed by androcentric passengers in the travel of language.
Say, for instance, having sex with someone. Why is it not sex when I have had the time of my life, but it hasn't been penetrative? Does it really matter? Must he nail me? How on earth will my girlfriends and I make do with that pale milk phrase, 'making out'?
I have always intensely disliked that phrase. It captures nothing; it could mean children play-acting, a young girl striking out on her own in a new city, pressing out spaghetti strings from the machine. Why could 'making out' not be any of these instead?
And then, bases. How powerfully they staircase a dip into the ocean. Why must his shirt be unbuttoned, her bra unhooked? What of all those beautiful places in between; the smouldering, the pauses, the suddenness, the crackling cigarette or was it the friction of your corduroys?
I wish I knew hindi better, I'm certain that we have much more fulfilling ways to talk about our experiences, sensations, feelings without having to rely on cheap American imports.
Gotta love the title of the post. And yeah! 'Making out' is a terrible phrase. What does it even include?
ReplyDeleteja!!!
ReplyDeleteMeri jaan! You chose this word, pucchie. :) Lots to you.
DeleteSonu, exactly!! It excludes everything. It's just an indication of the dead vocabulary of American high school kids.Upar se kitne battameez hote hain, uff.
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that I can be intimate in so many languages -- Tamil, Hindi, Telugu, Marathi, English. It's delicious.
ReplyDeleteJealousy is happening. Just sat for an interview where the panelist was asking me how many languages I was fluent in. I am always going to be ashamed with my answer to that question, no matter how much I learn.
DeleteAgreed! I just finished Lolita, and this reminds me of Nabakov's musings on the failings and shortfall of the English language - would be so interested to learn if Russian (or Hindi! Or any other language) is more expressive, evokative, accurate - but of course I'll never understand, because it defies translation! That's the eternal struggle, isn't it - to bridge the distance between our experiences and our ability to describe them.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if a language is more or less expressive, etc. in relation but I'm sure that there's a difference in the degree of our satisfaction as we try to bridge that gap you mentioned with different languages.
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