This was originally an extensive conversation with me in the bathroom. For me, most of them either end up as amusing footnotes in Oral Bathroom Literature or in my journal. This is one of the rare times I felt like sharing it.
Menstruating for me has always been in an intense but interesting time. I feel happy, very alive and constantly in tune with what I'm physically feeling. Many times, I take my body for granted mostly because I see it as an instrument to do something, get somewhere but never as an end in itself, something which demands attention and provokes thought - not simply a reaction. There are a few things which make me think of my body, and none of them are insights, doubts, creative, exploratory or questioning in nature. They don't linger in my head for too long because they are reactions. Once they are suitably addressed, they don't raise their heads again until the time comes. There's physical pain, sexual urges, temperature differences and hunger. The most I can extend this physical self-awareness is to fatigue, feeling fresh, urges for nicotine, alcohol or particular kinds of foods/drinks, the awareness of being watched and extreme fear and anger. Another level could be added for addiction but I can't say this for myself - yet. (or maybe, I'm not aware of them)
Comparing this to how sensitive I am to my thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, judgments of people and their own of me or others - and how creative, curious, skeptical, judgmental, saddened, overjoyed, inspired, discouraged, enraged (and a universe of other emotions, many of which I'm sure I haven't experienced yet) I am by them - I feel there's been quite a lot of injustice done! Why do I never dream of my body? Why do I not engage with it as exhaustively as I do with my mind? Why is thinking as an activity restricted only to my brain? Why does society sometimes consider it girly, superficial or 'gay' if some people take extra efforts to take care of their bodies?
Whenever I have been attuned with my body, it's given me a lot of peace. Whether it's breaking out into a run, dancing or walking in the rain. (once I can get over my laziness and go for a shower, I don't want to get out!) I think what's best is having a feeling of fulfillment and release, like a high. I think people who run or exercise often know how this feels, but we've all experienced it, one time or another in our lives. I guess that's why the fascination with hallucinogenic drugs - it's another medium to experience being one with mind and body.
What happens when I menstruate, is that there's a conversation with my body for around five days straight. And since I overlook my body a lot, these days are like getting to know myself all over again. There's a slight pain, very different from any other pain, which makes itself experienced a day before they begin, and that's when I feel my body says, so hey, let's catch up tomorrow. You free right? I could think, it's not like I have a choice, or I could think, when was the last time I was so aware of my body? Let's talk! Taking the latter perspective helps not simply because it means lesser conflicts but also because you get to know so much about yourself, even as a person.
Once, my college friends and I had a long discussion about menstruation and how we felt about it. I realised my physical condition during, before or after my period matters tremendously in being able to be positive about it. I guess I'm lucky that I don't undergo deep pain and discomfort during this time. It's relatively trouble-free and mostly an enjoyable experience. I don't think I could be this carefree if I had to miss going out and stay indoors with a hot water bottle, guzzling fluids and pills to keep sane. I know friends who have to do this and it's no wonder they feel Nature has dealt with women unfairly. But I also feel it has a lot to do with our culture, because that plays an unarguably enormous part in influencing the way we approach anything.
There is an entire culture of negativity around menstruation which is another unfortunate result of living in a patriarchal society. Why 'sanitary' napkins? The whole idea of menstruating being seen as something very unclean is manifested in the fear instilled in girls and women about needing to keep the whole process as quiet and unobvious as possible. Why do we freak out so much about being caught with a 'stain' - can't it be treated with the same equanimity as a coffee stain? I'm not saying, "parade your menstrual stain with pride!" I'm saying, it's okay. Like people have coffee, women menstruate. Anybody can spill, right?
I also feel the way girls are brought up and educated has played a huge part in the way boys and men also approach menstruation. It was made such an embarrassing thing in school - you're in eighth class, a normal class is going on and suddenly, all the girls are told to make a line and walk off to the hall. Oh, it's that again. The biggest irony is that despite all the efforts taken to exclude boys, (we knew that) they knew what it was about anyway. All that this exclusivity did was reinforce the idea that menstruation and anything related was a girl thing, too embarrassing and taboo to be discussed with guys. What fart, really. Would it have hurt to take boys along as well, treat it like another lesson in biology? No, it would have made it natural, a part of a possible conversation with other men and women and a way to better understand sexuality. When we're in eighth, we're anyway looking for ways to talk with the opposite sex. Introducing menstruation to both sexes would have given us lots of food for thought to chew over with each other.
Treating menstruation so oppressively has had other offshoots as well. Female masturbation, for instance. (oh gosh, that needs another whole entry!) With this entry, I'm trying to make an effort to break free of my own inhibitions about menstruation. If you have any and want to break free of them too, let's talk about them now. It could be anything other than inhibitions too: questions, rants, sarcastic quips (though if you know me, do not expect me to get them), observations, reservations, beliefs, anything. Let's have a conversation!
Menstruating for me has always been in an intense but interesting time. I feel happy, very alive and constantly in tune with what I'm physically feeling. Many times, I take my body for granted mostly because I see it as an instrument to do something, get somewhere but never as an end in itself, something which demands attention and provokes thought - not simply a reaction. There are a few things which make me think of my body, and none of them are insights, doubts, creative, exploratory or questioning in nature. They don't linger in my head for too long because they are reactions. Once they are suitably addressed, they don't raise their heads again until the time comes. There's physical pain, sexual urges, temperature differences and hunger. The most I can extend this physical self-awareness is to fatigue, feeling fresh, urges for nicotine, alcohol or particular kinds of foods/drinks, the awareness of being watched and extreme fear and anger. Another level could be added for addiction but I can't say this for myself - yet. (or maybe, I'm not aware of them)
Comparing this to how sensitive I am to my thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, judgments of people and their own of me or others - and how creative, curious, skeptical, judgmental, saddened, overjoyed, inspired, discouraged, enraged (and a universe of other emotions, many of which I'm sure I haven't experienced yet) I am by them - I feel there's been quite a lot of injustice done! Why do I never dream of my body? Why do I not engage with it as exhaustively as I do with my mind? Why is thinking as an activity restricted only to my brain? Why does society sometimes consider it girly, superficial or 'gay' if some people take extra efforts to take care of their bodies?
Whenever I have been attuned with my body, it's given me a lot of peace. Whether it's breaking out into a run, dancing or walking in the rain. (once I can get over my laziness and go for a shower, I don't want to get out!) I think what's best is having a feeling of fulfillment and release, like a high. I think people who run or exercise often know how this feels, but we've all experienced it, one time or another in our lives. I guess that's why the fascination with hallucinogenic drugs - it's another medium to experience being one with mind and body.
What happens when I menstruate, is that there's a conversation with my body for around five days straight. And since I overlook my body a lot, these days are like getting to know myself all over again. There's a slight pain, very different from any other pain, which makes itself experienced a day before they begin, and that's when I feel my body says, so hey, let's catch up tomorrow. You free right? I could think, it's not like I have a choice, or I could think, when was the last time I was so aware of my body? Let's talk! Taking the latter perspective helps not simply because it means lesser conflicts but also because you get to know so much about yourself, even as a person.
Once, my college friends and I had a long discussion about menstruation and how we felt about it. I realised my physical condition during, before or after my period matters tremendously in being able to be positive about it. I guess I'm lucky that I don't undergo deep pain and discomfort during this time. It's relatively trouble-free and mostly an enjoyable experience. I don't think I could be this carefree if I had to miss going out and stay indoors with a hot water bottle, guzzling fluids and pills to keep sane. I know friends who have to do this and it's no wonder they feel Nature has dealt with women unfairly. But I also feel it has a lot to do with our culture, because that plays an unarguably enormous part in influencing the way we approach anything.
There is an entire culture of negativity around menstruation which is another unfortunate result of living in a patriarchal society. Why 'sanitary' napkins? The whole idea of menstruating being seen as something very unclean is manifested in the fear instilled in girls and women about needing to keep the whole process as quiet and unobvious as possible. Why do we freak out so much about being caught with a 'stain' - can't it be treated with the same equanimity as a coffee stain? I'm not saying, "parade your menstrual stain with pride!" I'm saying, it's okay. Like people have coffee, women menstruate. Anybody can spill, right?
I also feel the way girls are brought up and educated has played a huge part in the way boys and men also approach menstruation. It was made such an embarrassing thing in school - you're in eighth class, a normal class is going on and suddenly, all the girls are told to make a line and walk off to the hall. Oh, it's that again. The biggest irony is that despite all the efforts taken to exclude boys, (we knew that) they knew what it was about anyway. All that this exclusivity did was reinforce the idea that menstruation and anything related was a girl thing, too embarrassing and taboo to be discussed with guys. What fart, really. Would it have hurt to take boys along as well, treat it like another lesson in biology? No, it would have made it natural, a part of a possible conversation with other men and women and a way to better understand sexuality. When we're in eighth, we're anyway looking for ways to talk with the opposite sex. Introducing menstruation to both sexes would have given us lots of food for thought to chew over with each other.
Treating menstruation so oppressively has had other offshoots as well. Female masturbation, for instance. (oh gosh, that needs another whole entry!) With this entry, I'm trying to make an effort to break free of my own inhibitions about menstruation. If you have any and want to break free of them too, let's talk about them now. It could be anything other than inhibitions too: questions, rants, sarcastic quips (though if you know me, do not expect me to get them), observations, reservations, beliefs, anything. Let's have a conversation!