I think I've officially lost it. I was told this unofficially, around four years ago but this time it has finally sunk in. For the past three minutes of having lost it, it still feels as great as it did that precise moment when I realised it.
It's not that I haven't lost it before. I have. I have lost it, I have seen myself losing it and I definitely see myself losing it in the future. But this epiphany, while drinking coffee and studying the Direct Effect of Emotions on Interpersonal Attraction suddenly came to me and left me surprised, despite having subliminally suspected my self of having lost it for the past four years. For some time now, I suspect. Or even longer, I suspect (even more sublinimally now).
I'm not sure about losing it - it feels like an uncapturable, strangely ephemeral feeling - but having lost it feels quite peaceful. Like I'm finally agreeing with this voice inside, which has been incessantly trying to make small talk with me for such a long time now, till about nine minutes ago when it suddenly grinned at me and disappeared, nevertheless to come back and wink at me.
Yes. When you will have lost it, you will feel like writing some good old undiluted nonsense right in the middle of quite sincerely studying something. You will also, quite sincerely subliminally suspect yourself of an obvious truth (that of you having lost it) and then go ahead and become sublinimal about it. You will hear voices in your head, indeed, this voice will try making small talk with you and not just that - it will also grin, and then rush back to wink, at you. You will also, find a quiet satisfaction in endlessly repeating and reiterating and resaying and retelling and finally in a flourish of rehashing, recapitulating it all.
I think I've lost quite a bit of it now.
It's not that I haven't lost it before. I have. I have lost it, I have seen myself losing it and I definitely see myself losing it in the future. But this epiphany, while drinking coffee and studying the Direct Effect of Emotions on Interpersonal Attraction suddenly came to me and left me surprised, despite having subliminally suspected my self of having lost it for the past four years. For some time now, I suspect. Or even longer, I suspect (even more sublinimally now).
I'm not sure about losing it - it feels like an uncapturable, strangely ephemeral feeling - but having lost it feels quite peaceful. Like I'm finally agreeing with this voice inside, which has been incessantly trying to make small talk with me for such a long time now, till about nine minutes ago when it suddenly grinned at me and disappeared, nevertheless to come back and wink at me.
Yes. When you will have lost it, you will feel like writing some good old undiluted nonsense right in the middle of quite sincerely studying something. You will also, quite sincerely subliminally suspect yourself of an obvious truth (that of you having lost it) and then go ahead and become sublinimal about it. You will hear voices in your head, indeed, this voice will try making small talk with you and not just that - it will also grin, and then rush back to wink, at you. You will also, find a quiet satisfaction in endlessly repeating and reiterating and resaying and retelling and finally in a flourish of rehashing, recapitulating it all.
I think I've lost quite a bit of it now.
Let's get that production company going, Bubbles. Let's REALLY lose it.
ReplyDeleteYes, Vini.
ReplyDeleteI just wish I'd lost it while I actually tried to study.
scratches head :P
ReplyDeleteThis a wonderful post. I must say this is one of a kind. A wonderful post like this is so wonderfully wonderful that it makes me go "Ah! How wonderful". Wonderful, no?
ReplyDeletePeach,
ReplyDeleteI'm tellin ya. I've got a planet of ideas, and they buzz around me like trapped bees. Let's just really lose it.
Sonu,
ReplyDeleteHey, cmon! Just tide through till the 17th, we have lots better to go loony about. And then we have an entire YEAR to prove our looniness to others as well!
Shrey,
ReplyDeleteMy sentiments exactly :)
Ryan,
ReplyDeleteNow that you've lost it yourself, I seriously doubt if you mean what you said in your first two sentences. But since I like Edward Lear and this is my blog, I think I'll take it :)
Vini,
ReplyDeleteYes. Hello there. This is only because you like odd numbers, and now you have nine comments!
:D
Lets make that even and spoil your mood Ya? 'cause I have nothing better to do.
ReplyDeleteWow! Anonymous over here, did what I wanted to :O
ReplyDelete-Ryan-who-was-too-lazy-to-log-in