01/05/2013

screaming


A precious advantage to having your own place is the freedom to scream. One afternoon when the lights were burning the back of my eyes once again, I went to office, stood under the shower and screamed. I screamed with my mouth wide open, then shutting again, in fear. After all, the windows of the bathroom were made of glass with wide mouths of their own. I pressed my spongey lips on the bathroom wall and screamed into it. I beat my forehead and crushed my heart inside my throat. I wanted to reach inside myself and grasp that; heavily webbed sticky dense untouchable yet so heavy, so heavy. Had I no friends in this city I would have screamed freely in my own house and cleaned up later quietly.

Susan Gowling, Those Precious Hours

goodness.

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