20/05/2010

Going, going

 'ले लीजिये', Piu's parfoom, Chikan, चाट, भूतनाथ, Hazratganj, Jo's इमामबाड़े के कबाब, Royal Cafe, पलटन बाज़ार, Sunrise Bakery, Ghantaghar, मेरा पुराना देहरादूनी घर, Malbabu, फकीरे की दुकान.


निगाहें मिलाने को जी चाहता है..
                                                                     ~ सहीर लुध्यान्वी, दिल ही तो है

29/04/2010

"To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;" *

It could happen with anything you're studying, anything you're doing, even if it is out of a conscious choice based on what can bring you the most happiness, the highest fulfillment. You could have that one black smudge, the one subject, area, task, you just hate thinking of, and cannot ever compel yourself to enjoy doing. When I think of my decision to do a BA, to do it in English Literature, then my black smudge would be tomorrow's exam.

Till a few minutes ago it was paper IV - an unhealthy, vague, presumptuous pool of literatures not meant for the cauldron they've been wearily stirred into. I do not like most of it, and I certainly have had an eyebrow raised this whole year on the why, how and what of its structure. More on this later.**

But tomorrow's paper is worse. It is a wild frenzy of areas that has captured my heart and left it pitilessly gasping for more. Tomorrow's exam is a sin, because of the way all that sheer magic and restless wonder will be mutilated to serve a purpose I refuse to recognise has anything to do with my education.

What does it mean to write an answer to a question you feel you may never be able to answer fully? It's not simply about the fact that I feel I haven't read or experienced enough. It's more to do with the withering inadequacy of words. "Without contrariness is no progression", could you apply this idea to Yeats' The Second Coming and Sailing to Byzantium*? I keep madly dithering between the nervous intensity these words make me feel, and the shove to write a genuine answer that won't haunt me later as written "in partial fulfillment of her Bachelor's degree in English Literature."

My best 'answers' have been written during the mayhem called Prelims. I had no fear of being judged by our professors, I wrote what I truly believed in and got away with arguments I tonight surrender to cynicism. What if I get a uni-dimensional, tea-deprived, answer-key automaton for a checker - this previously lighthearted rant is what now has the power to stop me from being honest, from being ready to take a chance on my beliefs, from being open to perceptions and different angles of looking at things, from being creative, a little cheeky and insatiably in love with fresh ideas. What on earth am I doing then?

Answer: There seems to be no end to the hypocrisy we face in our education, and what it means to be educated.

02/04/2010

Burning bright



This poem, and this poet, are incredible.

Recommended reading:

Late at night, aloud to self, in the dark. And then feel it burn the back of your mind.

21/03/2010

re: pale blue dot

The comment would have been too long and too confused. Thanks.


My first reaction after reading the commencement address was to think, there must be a rare creature which takes itself more seriously than the human does.

Reading about what's gone by sometimes makes me wish I could visit some places at particular times. This list is so long and so varied that it would be hard to put it down here without being compelled to keep editing this post as long as I'm alive and I keep learning more. If you were given the chance (and if things could be suitably fast-forwarded), wouldn't you love to see the evolutions of some countries? Wouldn't you like to see if our superhuman understanding of the evolution of the world and life actually happened or not? Add to that trajectory people, languages, arts, cultures, behaviours, beliefs... now, come back to the pale blue dot.

I wonder if we've made living life a contraption meant to serve a higher purpose. Living for now has gone somewhere into the future, which is the most exasperatingly abstract thig (yes, thig. The 'n' sound gives the original word substance) that exists. Damn it, does the future exist? You know what I mean. Life seems to be like a flight of stairs, which leads to something bigger, brighter, brighter, like a nib constantly scratching forwards across a page. So much so, that the act of running up those stairs or writing those ideas takes a backseat. Something tells me, unoriginally, that this is the root of all our sorrows.

We have something in our hands that is ours to create, ours to savour, ours to take care of. And when I look at the picture and see how the vastness of space fills up everything, what is made insignificant is not the fact that we exist or have existed for so long, but all the pain, suffering and negativity that we have developed over the course of this existence. There may or may not be a point in our existence; we may or may not be creating a dent in the cosmos because we breathe. But do we need to?

I feel it's wonderful to be here, now.  When I saw the picture, I couldn't believe that I was a part of that dot. Somewhere, in a space so microscopically tiny that it wrings my head to imagine, I live on that dot. I'm writing this on that dot. Everyone I know or will ever know, everything that inspires me, everything I want to do, everything I feel passionate about is on that dot. For some reason which I wish not to examine, this thought brought me inexplicable happiness. There are so many beautiful things in this pale blue dot. Butterflies, water-colours, laughter, light and darkness, imagination, water, music, cotton clothes, memories, fresh earth, tears. It's all here, with us, around us. That pale blue dot is not part of a history that I can only imagine visiting. It isn't a forgotten memory or a lost planet. I live it.

This picture fills me with silence, like when I'm watching a gradual transformation or listening to a moving song. Any limitations exist in our mind, not anywhere else.


07/02/2010

Free part VI

Don’t let anything swallow your leap
Because glass and stones build a lonesome house
With bread, water and fourteen words a day

Don’t let anything carve your stride
Because graphite echoes may knock your head
And mark your dreams with asterisks

Don’t let anything touch your silence
Because the colours may all go to sleep
And draw the blinds around your world

Breathe your words as you say them
Taste your strings as you play them

As long as you are on the roam
The locks will rust, the birds will fly
You will be free to live, to die.

14/01/2010

Google doesn't know everything - I

(21st March, 2010. I stand corrected: Google doesn't know everything - I)


Think of the most random thing.

Then add pepper, and look nowhere else.
                                                                                                                                    

What could this man,



  and this man




have in common?
                                                                                                                    

02/01/2010

AAAAAAAA!!! :D :D

http://education.nic.in/scho_announcements/UKComm-2010-Result.pdf

IO5TNU4389U29200277RTKJVO;ERIA;OIURIOU!$&e&^?hBKLJ!!!!!!&*)we%^&)ohmygod(itynuspr8o76p8ninroyublsdu43857389n5hfjkghfiladu$%@!!

"Words are very
Unnecessary."

                                                  - Moriarty

goodness.

 My first response to reading this blog again was, seriously, a post on parenting - that was what I last posted about? I can't help but ...